By Bob Revering

Staff Writer, Campy Eye

Satire Department

On Tuesday, March 3, students met to complain about the crazy drivers within the college parking lots. They were rushing onto campus, parking every which way, honking their horns, driving in reverse, neutral and drive to voice their opinion on how to solve the problem with crazy drivers on campus. Crazy drivers on campus are made up of the 99.9 percent of the student body that drives to school.

“Crazy drivers are dangerous and incapable of making perfect rows of cars when it snows and in general when it’s not snowing,” one outraged student explained. The Campy Eye investigated and found out this was the same student that had his H3 Hummer parked on top of the curb between two parking spots.

“The bus drivers look over, laugh and sigh in relief when they  drive past the campus parking lots during peak crazy parking lot hours,” an official with the Minnesota Department of Transportation said.

In the end after all the complaining and whining the students decided to stage a protest to park elsewhere.  Spurred by the earlier meeting, the students protested on Thursday, March 5, and the parking lot turned peaceful leaving students glad that the crazy drivers left.