“Maybe a cobbled version of that boy’s life will emerge if I crawl long enough, mustering the faith of the doubtful,” writes Tracy Youngblom. Grief is a process that affects every one of our lives. For Youngblom, grieving the loss of her little brother is a lifelong journey. Boy was inspired by the untimely death of her brother–the writing is raw and real from beginning to end. Youngbloom earned an MFA in Poetry, is widely published, and was a two-time finalist for the loft McKnight award.

In Boy, Youngblom bares her soul diving deep into traumatic early childhood memories, adolescent experiences, and the questions answered in adulthood. Each poem captures a moment from Youngblom’s past and projects it with such realism the book comes alive as if happening in real time. Boy is a touching memoire composed entirely of sequential poems eloquently crafted from Youngblom’s stirred memories.

The poems in Boy flow expertly from one to the next to form a fluid story in this page turner. A quick read, Boy can be consumed in one sitting. These poems are not titled but rather numbered with roman numerals. The numerals kept me immersed in the poems rather than searching for titles. In the poem “xxvi,” about the first Christmas without her brother, Youngblom writes, “She gripped my shoulders, spoke words that struck like a slap from which I recoiled, that made me raise my chin to defiant heights in response—words so true it hurt to deny them: I miss him too.”

Being a child herself at the time of her brother’s passing, Youngblom navigates the initial stages of grief through innocent eyes. Insight is given into her childhood homelife and a family dynamic fueled by her father’s alcoholism. Youngblom wittingly presents how others viewed her brother’s death.  When dating, she finds herself serving as a sort of emotional dumping ground for the confessions of damaged men she encounters. Youngblom writes, “I never saved any of them, those boys who were wounded to the point of death (or dead already).” Finally, we read about Youngblom’s journey into motherhood. The boys she brings into the world survive childhood accidents and fortunately, grow up to become men. The cyclical nature of Boy provides an emotionally satisfying conclusion to this melancholy yet hopeful story.

Youngblom’s poetry compilation serves as a gentle reminder to take stock of where we come from, where we are, and where we are headed. Youngblom offers encouragement through her writing, sharing such personal details of humble beginnings, fulfilling life experience, and where she is today: a mother of boys, a professor, and an author. She has chosen to, “refuse to anticipate death, anticipate being a degree of welcoming.”