A Language Only Lovers Can Understand
February 15, 2019
A lot of people go into relationships without knowing all the unspoken rules that lovers live by. They learn how to understand the non-verbals of their partner and can understand what they are saying without speaking. Being able to understand someone in that depth can show the health of a relationship.
I wondered how much communication effects the divorce rate in the U.S, which is currently at 40-50 percent.
Understanding a partner can be as easy as reading a book for some people. For others it can be as hard as disarming a bomb. Relationships depend on how well two people communicate, and ghosting culture has made it too easy for people to shirk their obligation to end things respectfully, instead of putting the person through hell.
Love is chemistry by design and depends on how well the people involved mix with each other.
“I think that my partner and I communicate moderately well. We are open and we tell each other things…It keeps it healthy with regard to trust, but it also can sometimes hurt my partner when I bring to light the lesser parts of the relationship or express my discomfort with something that happened/is happening,” said Alex Berceli, who has been with his partner for 4 years.
“It results in immediate health being mediocre, but long term being healthier. Kind of like vaccinations. You’re inputting lesser versions of deadly bacteria so you can become immune to it before you get a bad case of it.”
It is heartwarming to hear how people maintain long-term relationships through communicating, and communication well.
“I do think we communicate well. Sometimes we do struggle but overall, I think we work through those struggles. And yes, I definitely think it affects the health of our relationship,” Karen Mellum said, who has been married to her spouse for almost thirty years.
While communication is important, a relationship cannot solely survive off communicating. Struggle is inevitable. What matters in life is making sure you get the best of your partner, and work through the problems that arise by deciding which ones are worth dying on the sword for.